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Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
Catholic Girls
By
Frank Zappa
Act I
SCENE THREE CATHOLIC GIRLS
A festive CYO party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom dance, the, baked goods, & FATHER RILEY making sure the lights don't go down too low...
FATHER RILEY AND VARIOUS PARTY GOERS: Catholic Girls With a tiny little mustache Catholic Girls Do you know how they go? Catholic Girls In the Rectory Basement Father Riley's a fairy But it don't bother Mary Catholic Girls At the CYO Catholic Girls Do you know how they go? Catholic Girls There can be no replacement How do they go, after the show?
JOE: All the way That's the way they go Every day And none of their mamas ever seem to know Hip-Hip-Hooray For all the class they show There's nothing like a Catholic Girl At the CYO When they learn to blow...
FATHER RILEY: They're learning to blow All the Catholic Boys!
MARY: Warren Cuccurullo...
FATHER RILEY: Catholic Boys!
MARY: Kinda young, kinda WOW!
FATHER RILEY: Catholic Boys!
MARY: Vinnie Colaiuta...
CHORUS: Where are they now? Did they all take The Vow?
FATHER RILEY: Catholic Girls!
WARREN: Carmenita Scarfone!
FATHER RILEY: Catholic Girls!
OFFICER BUTZIS: Hey! She gave me VD!
FATHER RILEY: Catholic Girls!
WARREN: Toni Carbone!
CHORUS: With a tongue like a cow She could make you go WOW!
JOE: VD vowdy vootie Right away That's the way they go Every day Whenever their mamas take them to a show Matinee Pass the popcorn please There's nothing like a Catholic Girl With her hand in the box When she's on her knees
LARRY: She was on her knees, My little Catholic Girl
CHORUS: In a little white dress Catholic Girls They never confess Catholic Girls I got one for a cousin I love how they go So send me a dozen Catholic Girls OOOOOOH! Catholic Girls OOOOOOH! (etc.)
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER: This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe had a girl friend named Mary. She used to go to the church club every week. They'd meet each other there Hold hands And think Pure Thoughts But one night, at the Social Club meeting Mary didn't show up... She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory In order to get a pass To see some big rock group for free...
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