The British pop star Lili Allen has recently said to press that when she sees herself in the mirror, she only sees a fat lady. The affliction actually has a name, “body dysmorphia” and it can be treated both with therapy and some drugs. It always involves a debilitating or excessive fear of judgment by others.

The artist opened up for British magazine Love, revealing some interesting thought about the Fashion world:

“The reason the fashion world has embraced me is because I lost [21 pounds] last year. They probably wouldn’t have when I was heavier.” She continues: “Compare me to Kate Moss and all of those supermodels and, yes, I probably am on the podgy side. But in reality I’m fine.” 

Allen was very hard about the professionals she had to work with: “You can’t fit into them (sample dresses), and they’re rolling their eyes at you as if it’s your fault,” she says. Hold on a second, I’m a pop star, not a model. Don’t make me feel s*** for not being really skinny and having an eating disorder.”

Allen also revealed the reason why she had recently gained weight: she was taking steroid injections to treat laryngitis. “People say, ‘Ooh, she’s in love, so she’s put on weight.’ No! I’m ill.”